Why Won’t My Baby Sleep Through the Night?
You’re exhausted. You can’t remember the last time you slept properly. And somewhere between the night feeds and the rocking and the shushing you’re wondering if this is ever going to get better.
It will. And you’re not alone in this.
Here’s what nobody tells you upfront. Most babies are simply not designed to sleep through the night in the early weeks. Their tiny tummies need feeding every 2 to 3 hours. And their internal body clock doesn’t fully develop until around 3 to 4 months. So if your newborn is waking constantly, that’s not a problem. That’s just how a newborn is.
This blog covers everything you need to know about baby sleep. Scroll to whatever feels most relevant to you right now.
- What’s Normal for Your Baby’s Age
- Keeping Your Baby Safe While They Sleep
- Building a Bedtime Routine
- Sleep Training Options
- Reasons Your Baby Keeps Waking Up
What’s Normal for Your Baby’s Age
Sleeping through the night doesn’t mean 8 hours straight like an adult. Here’s what’s actually normal at each stage
0 to 3 months Waking every 3 to 4 hours is completely normal and healthy. This is not a sleep problem. This is a newborn doing exactly what a newborn should do.
3 to 6 months Sleeping in 5 to 6 hour stretches is considered sleeping through at this age. If you’re getting this you’re doing well mumma.
6 to 12 months Many babies can manage 8 to 10 hours by this stage. But not all and that’s completely okay too.
Keeping Your Baby Safe While They Sleep
Before anything else this is non-negotiable.
Always on their back Place your baby on their back for every single sleep and naps at night time. Every time without exception.
Empty sleep space No blankets, pillows, stuffed animals, bumpers or positioners. Just a firm flat mattress and a fitted sheet.
Room sharing Keep your baby’s crib or bassinet in your room for at least the first 6 months.
Their own sleep surface Always keep your baby on their own separate sleep surface. Even when you’re exhausted and it feels easier, keep them in their own space. It significantly reduces the risk of something going wrong.
These guidelines exist because they save lives. No sleep method matters more than getting this right first.
Building a Bedtime Routine
From around 6 to 8 weeks you can start building habits that lead to better sleep.
A simple routine that works Bath, gentle massage, feed, a quiet song, into the crib. About 20 to 30 minutes. Do it at the same time every evening. Somewhere between 6 and 8pm works well for most babies.
Early bedtime It feels strange but putting your baby down earlier actually helps them sleep better. An overtired baby produces stress hormones that make it harder for them to settle. Early bedtime is your friend.
Drowsy but awake When your baby is heavy eyed but not fully asleep try placing them in the crib. If they can learn to fall asleep in their own space they’ll be able to settle themselves back to sleep during the night. It won’t work every time at first. Keep trying gently and consistently.
In the very early weeks Don’t worry about routines yet. Holding and feeding your baby to sleep is not a bad habit at this stage. It’s meeting a real need. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for it.
Sleep Training Options
By 6 months most babies are ready to learn to fall asleep on their own if you choose to go that route.
The Ferber method Put your baby down awake, say goodnight and leave. If they cry, wait a few minutes before going back in to briefly comfort without picking them up. Gradually increase the waiting time each night. Most babies improve within 3 to 7 nights.
Cry it out Put baby down awake, say goodnight and don’t go back in until morning. It’s hard to listen to. But research shows it does not harm babies and often works within 2 to 3 nights. It takes real consistency.
The chair method Sit on a chair next to the crib after putting baby down. Offer gentle reassurance without picking them up. Every few nights move the chair a little further away until you’re outside the room. Gentler but takes 2 to 3 weeks.
No cry methods Gradual changes and gentle approaches work too but take longer around 4 to 8 weeks. Consistency is everything.
The best method is the one you can actually stick to consistently. 😊
Reasons Your Baby Keeps Waking Up
Sleep cycles Babies cycle between light and deep sleep all night. During the lighter phases they wake and need to learn to settle themselves back down. This can happen every 45 to 90 minutes.
Hunger A genuinely hungry baby needs to eat. Make sure your baby is getting enough milk during the day before starting any sleep training.
Growth spurts and leaps Around 4 months babies go through a big change in how they sleep. Around 8 to 10 months separation anxiety can cause another disruption. Both are temporary.
Teething Pain disrupts sleep. Offer appropriate pain relief and pause any sleep training until they’re comfortable again.
Overtiredness An overtired baby actually sleeps worse. Watch your baby’s awake windows and don’t let them get too tired before sleep.
Naps Getting naps right makes night sleep better. Here’s a simple guide —
0 to 3 months — 4 to 5 naps a day
3 to 6 months — 3 naps a day
6 to 9 months — 2 naps a day
9 to 12 months — 2 naps a day
12 to 18 months — 1 to 2 naps a day
The last nap of the day should always end at least 1.5 to 2 hours before bedtime.
When to see your doctor If your baby is not gaining weight well and waking very frequently, if they snore loudly or seem to stop breathing, or if you are struggling with severe sleep deprivation, please reach out to your doctor. You deserve support too mumma.
For the Exhausted Mumma Reading This at 3am
Sleep deprivation is genuinely one of the hardest things. If your baby is waking constantly and you can’t remember the last time you slept properly, you are not failing. You are surviving something really hard.
Ask for help. Take turns with your partner. Let someone hold the baby while you sleep. The house can wait. The laundry can wait.
This season will pass. Slowly and then one day you’ll both be sleeping through the night.